10 October 2011
We received the pregnancy test reports. The value of the pregnancy test was a Beta HCG of 4.81 for my partner and less than 2 for myself. So my partner had a weak positive pregnancy test but the value was very low. Mu surrogate mother was not pregnant at all. If the value drops then it's a early miscarriage, so what was important now was to see what the next test said about my partner's surrogate. Then next test would be completed in 48 hours. Our dream of having a family relyed on my partners surrogate. Well was a very sad day but we still had hope....
12 October 2011
We got the next Beta HCG test results for my partners surrogate. It is less than 2 which means that this was a chemical pregnancy. It was horrible, disappointing and a very dark day in our lives, I mean as a Same sex couple I would have never imagaed getting the opportuinty to have met my soul mate, let alone the opportuinty of having children which had been unrealist dream for both of us and certainly not having to go through this heatbreaking emotions of miscarriage.
My annual leave was coming to an end and the fact of having to go back to work in a customer service role was all just too much for me. However my partner had no choice but to push on through and return to work. I decided to take some more leave that was owing to me to be completely prepared when dealing with the next step, the emotions of sadness, anger, why us? and let all these things settle down.
On my time off I thought a lot about things and realised what about our beautiful ED?, she has travelled on her own emotional journey to India, taken time of work, she had a long commute to the clinic in her home town from where she lived it was the most amazing thing she had done for us I wonder how she felt ?. I spoke to my partner and we decided to contact the ED agency and ask if they would forward on a email from us to our ED, as i said before the lady we dealt with thourgh the agency was amazing and of course that was not a problem. Writing this email meant so much to us as a couple, I went into a detail emotional description from when she accepted to donoate for us, right up until us recieving the Beta HCG test results. This for us really help get over this dark emotional time in our lives. The beautiful ED even replied to us her words brought tears to my eyes, after everything she had done for us she was still there offering her sympathy and heart felt words it was turly amazing.