Saturday, 3 December 2011

Results of cycle 2

So last night we heard from our clinic....... One of our beautiful surrogates was negative to being pregnant and our other beautiful surrogate is pregnant with a BHCG level of 677. It is a very happy day for us, but as our agreed decision for having children was to have each a biological child this was a day also full of mixed emotions. We have asked our clinic to use our frozen embryos of the genetic material that wasn't successful for another transfer ASAP. These embryos will be implanted within 2 weeks. It's not about my child and his child, but providing a child (or children, if there is a multiple birth) with each of our genetic material to this earth that you will raise to the best of your ability to provide every opportunity so they can shape the way of the world, it is also the symbol of leaving behind something when you depart from your short time on this earth.  Next scan is next week.... and we should receive a date in the next week or so in relation to the next embryo transfer.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Embyro Transfer

Well on the 23rd of November 2011,  we had all grade 1, 4 cell embyros transferred into to our 2 amazing surrogate mothers..... We both had frozen embyros left over, so for us it was such a relief to know that having another chance at having our dream is an easier reality. It's now a stressful wait, all the emotions and hanging on to every bit of hope until that BHCG test, which is getting done on the 3rd of December 2011. We aren't like most couples that go through this process, being in the same city, let alone the same country at times, with me travelling all the time alot this month and last month, it's crazy that we support each other via email, phone and text messages. My mum also is so supportive and its a big help to know she is only a phone call away. This process makes you stronger as a couple and teaches you lots of life lessons....... Keep everything crossed for us!!!!

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Our Beautiful Egg Donors...

Well we got the egg collection update....... Both of our beautiful egg donors gave more eggs, then we could ever imagined. We so happy, relieved and of course grateful for everything that these women do to help us create a family, They are truly angels......  We are both hoping for plenty of high grade embyros and hopefully we will have some little embryos left to freeze. Bring on stage 2...... Its getting closer....

Friday, 18 November 2011

The night before step 1

So its the night before step 1 of our second cycle........ Our beautiful ED's are having their operation tomorrow, I am getting all of the nerves back it's all here again and I thought it might have been a little different this time seen how we didn't go to India again. The typical worries we all have gone through in this step of our journeys to become parents, how many eggs ? the quality? how many embryos will we get? what grade?  will there be enough to freeze, as this is the whole point of cycling with 2 EDs we thought this may increase our chances of having some frozen, even more interestingly in our house hold as I being a flight attendant just flew back in from sydney and my partner is flying out on business tomorrow for the weekend, so when we hear from our clinic we won't be in the same city! Thank goodness for my amazing mother! We are keeping very positive thoughts and vibes and sending them out into the universe.  

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Getting Closer Than Expected.....

12th November 2011

We were very excited when we recieved an email  informing us that our egg collection is expected by Saturday19th November 2011, which is 4 days before the schedule. We have a few little nerves as well but that is to be expected, Bring on Saturday!!!  

 

The Next Step .......

So the next step...... always a hard question?  but we discussed it as a couple and decided it would be best if we picked ourselves up, shook ourselves off and found out our options available to us! so that is what we did......

So on the 13th of October we sent an email to the clinic asking them what options we had?. Through out our ups and downs of our last cycle the clinic and our client liason manger had been nothing but sympathic, honest, supportive and quick with the communication, so of course this time was no different. With the help of the amazing people involved, we were able to have confirmed our next cycle by the 15th of October 2011.

We did so much talking about the various options available to us, but this time we deiceded to cycle with 2 beautiful Indian EDs. We felt that it would be a nice way to connect with my partner's heritage as his mother was from India. We also thought cycling with 2 egg donors we would have a higher chance of having embryos to freeze. For us as a couple it is not about wheather it is my gentic child or his gentic child it is about the symbol over passing on your genes and leaving a part of you on this earth when you leave the earth they will all be treated the same and loved with all of our hearts and given every opportunity in the world we can possibly give them as they will be our family. For us having them at the same time would be a good thing for us as they would be able to all support each other thourgh everything life could throw at all of them and it would also be great to have a big family.... So our next cycle was all planned for the 23th/24th/25th of November for egg collection and shortly thereafter for embryo transfer. We are on our way again and very excited.

The Result.......

10 October 2011

We received the pregnancy test reports. The value of the pregnancy test was a Beta HCG of 4.81 for my partner and less than 2 for myself. So my partner had a weak positive pregnancy test but the value was very low. Mu surrogate mother was not pregnant at all.  If the value drops then it's a early miscarriage, so what was important now was to see what the next test said about my partner's surrogate. Then next test would be completed in 48 hours. Our dream of having a family relyed on my partners surrogate. Well was a very sad day but we still had hope....

12 October 2011

We got the next Beta HCG test results for my partners surrogate. It  is less than 2 which means that this was a chemical pregnancy. It was horrible, disappointing and a very dark day in our lives, I mean as a Same sex couple I would have never imagaed getting the opportuinty to have met my soul mate, let alone the opportuinty of having children which had been unrealist dream for both of us and certainly not having to go through this heatbreaking emotions of miscarriage.

My annual leave was coming to an end and the fact of having to go back to work in a customer service role was all just too much for me. However my partner had no choice but to push on through and return to work. I decided to take some more leave that was owing to me to be completely prepared when dealing with the next step, the emotions of sadness, anger, why us? and let all these things settle down.

On my time off I thought a lot about things and realised what about our beautiful ED?, she has travelled on her own emotional journey to India, taken time of work, she had a long commute to the clinic in her home town from where she lived it was the most amazing thing she had done for us I wonder how she felt ?. I spoke to my partner and we decided to contact the ED agency and ask if they would forward on a email from us to our ED, as i said before the lady we dealt with thourgh the agency was amazing and of course that was not a problem. Writing this email meant so much to us as a couple, I went into a detail emotional description from when she accepted to donoate for us, right up until us recieving the Beta HCG test results. This for us really help get over this dark emotional time in our lives. The beautiful ED even replied to us her words brought tears to my eyes, after everything she had done for us she was still there offering her sympathy and heart felt words it was turly amazing.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Welcome to Delhi

22nd September 2011

We are departing Perth at 355pm and it was a great surprise to have my sister and my mum come to drop us off at the airport, our flight takes us via Singapore on our way to Delhi it's a 5hr 20 mins to Singapore then 4 hour stop over then onwards bound to Delhi arriving at 530 am local time..... We both very excited I am a little emotional about the whole thing, but Richard seems very strong yet happy, The process has happen all so quickly and we have had heaps of high and lows to get to this point but we are a very strong team and this has shown us, together we can stay focused and make all things happen.

23rd September 2011

 Wow the flight was a long one. We were sitting at the gate for Delhi we were the one of only a few westerns in the whole lounge of 400 people, until just before boarding these 2 same sex western couple asked if they could sit next to us, we got talking to them and they are going through the same process as us with the same clinic, We couldn't believe it, so had a good chat with them and have swapped numbers so we may catch up with them if we get a chance. We arrived into Delhi at 530am. The drive was crazy, on a 3 lane road there is about 6 or 7 lanes of traffic consisting of trucks, bus, cars, toot toots, motor bikes, bicycles, random people walking on the road and just a few cows or two, So on our way to our hotel, because of a cow the driver had to slam on the breaks and a  few cars as the drivers like to say  "gave us a kiss in the back " the kiss lead to not being able to open the boot, And having to try an pull our suitcases out of the back of the car through the seats. Our driver is a very lovely man, we have have our a driver for the whole time we are here, It only cost about 40 Dollars a day. Our hotel the Taj Place is amazing, Looks like a royal castle, The service is just amazing. We met with our doctor at the clinic, she is an amazing women, we both are very excited and she answered any remain questions we had. Our egg donor is getting her collection surgery on Monday. We have also received the surrogate mothers profiles and will meet them in the next few days.  It's has been a very emotional day and we both are so excited.

24th  September 2011

We have a day off appointments re : the clinic stuff so we went out exploring. We visited a beautiful old fort call "red fort " it was in old Delhi, there is 4 parts of Delhi, Our hotel is in south Delhi, New Delhi is very clean no beggars, no rubbish but women still walk around carrying things on there head in beautiful saris on. Old Delhi where we were today is full of old buildings looking like they are about to fall down! There was a few beggars at 1 intersection that we stopped at but I already had the doors locked, windows up!  We arrived there in old Delhi the driver parked cross the road, we then had cross whole 4 lanes of traffic that's actually 12 LANES! I almost cried with fear.  After getting through 2 security check points ( they are every where) and getting a pat down ( they follow) we saw the history in this beautiful place there was 6 or so building all beautiful lawns and gardens surrounding them, very historical facts in some of the buildings it was great, How ever being like the only 2 western people every where you went people we staring at us. Could have been because we were wearing short all the men here wear long pants, shirt tucked in, belt. After crossing the crazy  road again we went to Gandhi memorial , the story behind it is very interesting a movie has been made about him such an inspirational man! You had to take your shoes of and walk on hot concrete it almost fried my feet. Our final stop of the day was the national museum, so many beautiful ancient artifacts, but after a while a stone is a stone ??? There is only so many stones you can look at!. We got home to rest finally, and to eat something and I order a beautiful curry and they presented it with a beautiful salad and a green bean ( so I thought) I ate it all at once, It was not a chili Aussie style I mean chili chili Indian style my sinus and mouth is still burning ,5 hours later.We already for the next stage of egg collection tomorrow, we have to be at the clinic at 500pm.

25th September 2011

More sight seeing, President house, India gate these are both right near each other have very traditional Indian architecture, khan markets know as literally the David Jones of India, not so sure about that. South extension part one another shopping place but we were the only westerners there we had to wait 15 mins for our driver everyone was staring at us, an old bus would pull up not even stopping and people old through to young would jump off and on before it would just keep driving the bus was so packed that one side of the bus would be lower then the other. Our last sight seeing stop was humayun's tomb was built by his wife when he died it was built to replicate the Taj Mahala it was so beautiful got some amazing pictures, Then we had to donate some more you know....At the clinic, followed by finally signing all the contracts for the surrogate mothers with clinic lawyer.... We actually got to meet the surrogate mothers it was so unreal to be standing there face to face we had an interpret as they can't speak English but we let them know how special they both are to us and so thankful for what they were doing for us ... My surrogate is 23 and my partners surrogate is 22 both were a little shy, but are such amazing women for attempting to help us create a family. We also heard from our Doctor before this meeting and our egg donor had her collection we have 15 eggs, so hopefully we will have some to freeze. We are awaiting conformation from our Doctor as to the grade, how many will be put it, and if we have enough to freeze... Been quite an emotional end to the day we both feel so lucky.

26th September 2011

We spent the most of the day at Swaminarayan akshardham it is a huge unique complex set on over 100 acres of immaculate gardens heaps of buildings a huge temple it had a boat ride, wishing wells ( you can guess what I wished for ) it is made of stone very beautiful so much detail, you cant take a camera as it's a sacred site. This temple is one of the most famous temple with huge history how this little boy at 11 years of age left and travelled 12000 kms by foot no shoes and believed that god will protect him, this experience as well as Delhi has taught me how lucky not only I am but we all are, family and friends is the only thing you need in your life, we have our health, an amazing country, good jobs at times we all take things to seriously or get stressed about the small things in life, we really need to take the time and look at all the good opportunity we have had. I was so glad we have gone on this journey,  It has give us plenty of inner piece and taught us you are your own rock, you have a  hammer, and your own chisel to design and carve your own life...so true I thought. On the other hand here in Delhi I have saw some very sad things. These experience happen in our lives to teach us lessons that we learn from, We then had to go to the clinic we only have one more time on Thursday then off we fly to Singapore on Friday, Still awaiting here from Doctor re: next step.

28th September 2011

We have just received an email for our dr at the clinic and it's very exciting day as the embryos transfer is meant to be happening today, we ended up with 11 embryos made up of both some with my partners genetics and some with mine. It's common to lose eggs throughout the process. This process today is implanting these embryos into my partners surrogate and my surrogate mothers. It will take 14 days to find out if it has been successful, this test will only give a positive or negative reading to being pregnant. This day marks a special day in our journey as not only is it all happening today but it's on such a special day, for my mother because it's her birthday.... couldn't be anymore perfect...biggest happy birthday mum... please all keep our hopes in your thoughts and prayers.

29th September 2011

It's our last night here in Delhi we have a flight tomorrow morning to Singapore where will be be for the next 4 days, We had to give our last sample today, we just waiting on the report of embryo transfer which happened yesterday, We should receive it late tonight or early tomorrow..... My partner has done lots of sums to work out all the possibilities, all the percentages but I keep telling him it's all going to happen as it is meant to be.... Keep everything crossed for us.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Let us begin.......

It all started when we were first met.... I always wanted the opportunity to have children but finding your soul mate was the hard bit. When I first met my partner I knew instantly he was the one. We connected on so many levels  both being so motivated, driven and had achieved a lot for our ages in our careers. My Partner has his own law firm, was a deputy mayor for a local council for some time and an active member on various boards, Myself I am Cabin manger with an Australian based airline, and also sit on a board within the airline meeting with stake holders in the business just to keep things interesting.  We live in a beautiful part of Perth and have a passion for Fitness, Organic food and I'm very much a clean, organized, everything in its place kind of guy (yes should make for a very interesting household with children one day I know!!).

So we were sitting there watch the TV one night ( this rarely happens in our house hold ) around 15th of July 2011 and we saw a show on the horrible banning of international surrogacy in NSW. We had talked about having children and the plan was for 2014 we would begin our journey, however with this law being passed in NSW we decided it would be best to act quickly as who knows what could happen in the future with other states and the commonwealth government laws. We both have dreamed of having a family and didn't want to miss out on this opportunity. So we thought why wait? So over the next weeks I researched every site for surrogacy, clinics, USA vs India, flights, accommodation, frequent flyer flights, other couples that had done this, we even brought a white board and hosted family meeting with my family to have there input, my mother is a very hands of parent she reminds me of the mother from brother and sisters the TV show, she plans to a very hands on Nona (as she is too young to be called grandma) and has been supporting us through ever part of this process, we have to also mention my sister who has just been amazing. So armed with all this information I compiled  2 files of paper work with all my research. It began to become a worry reading stories about using bad clinics, the expense of America, Success rates, Embryos, Egg donation with not having much of a clue we decided on my Annual leave which is was coming up in Sept/ Oct we would fly to these clinics and meet with clinics in India before flying on the America and see what felt best. It was a crazy idea now that we look back our plan but we just didn't seem to find much support or other couples that had done it before and we wanted to be as well informed as we could be.

Then on the 30th of July I was sitting on my laptop just before heading to bed and I came across a website by the name of medical tourism., It said "enter your email for a free pamphlet on surrogacy" so after weeks of research I decided well it couldn't hurt. This was the BEST DECISION of our lives. We received an email with a loads of information on clinics in India and then it was followed up by a second email from International Client Manger that works for a Clinic in New Delhi. It was just meant to be, we felt so at ease not any of our questions was too big or too small her attention to detail was second to none, her communication was instant, we felt as if she was like an angel send from heaven, we then knew we had then found our clinic. The RELIEF.....

We chose to cycle with a beautiful Caucasian egg donor ( will now be referred to as ED) and 2 surrogate mothers ( will now be referred to as SMs) and split the eggs, fertilizing half with my genetics and the other half with my partners, so our children would have a biological link . The clinic even help put us in touch with an egg donor agency. Where we dealt with an amazing women, she was just fantastic, we couldn't believe our luck she was open, honest, up front about all, her communication was also instant which also puts your at ease in this very stressful time. The EDs travel in groups the next group was travelling around the end of September 2011. This meant we had to yet again act quickly, with the help of that amazing women I was just talking about, we manged to organize the whole thing in time and selected the most Beautiful ED. The next step was to write the email to this truly wonderful women this was not easy, I mean finding the words that show you how much this process means to you as a couple and how grateful you feel, are just so hard to find. We had to tears of joy as well as relief when she accepted her beautiful words were just one of the most heart felt, emotional times in our lives. These women that gladly chose to donate there eggs  for couples, they have never and will never meet are the most admirable, giving, loving, genuine, inspirational women in the world, and will always have special places in our hearts.

Then came the time to organise visas, booking flights and accommodation, working out our best options for to fit our schedule that was given by the clinic. It all seems like we were rushing to get everything done and for someone who is so organised I did find this a little confronting, never the less on the Thursday the 22nd of September our journey began by boarding the Singapore Airlines flying to Delhi via Singapore.

Arriving in Delhi at 530 am was not one of my finest moment I have been flying for quiet a few years and let me tell you, you never get used to time zone change or the horror flights as we Cabin crew like to call them, (meaning a flight through the night). I really began to wonder how an earth I have been able to smile for this many years feeling like death warmed up ..... but never the less it was a happy welcome to Delhi.